Esiri Ukueku-Uduaghan wrote:
Contrary to popular opinion, I find the increase in the divorce rate in this country a positive development.

People wail: oh!! you want to us to be like the west where the divorce rates are so high.. Bla Bla Bla..Though I know that some people abuse the system in the west like every other thing in the world, I still consider it a positive development.

I really don’t care if we have only 2 marriages in Nigeria, as long as they are good quality sustainable marriages. Its called quality over quantity.

The incessant Marital deaths, assault, battery, rape, emotional abuse, drug abuse, depression etc arising from domestic abuse has really become intolerable. It is a menace to soceity.

The children from such homes, develop mental and behavioural issues and become a problem to themselves and soceity at large. We have a broken welfare system that does little or nothing to cater to kids from abusive homes.

Myself and a few lawyer colleagues were discussing about our Nigerian Marital laws, and we all came to the consensus that these laws need to be reviewed to address our present day realities.

We felt that the mandatory 2yr rule before a person can initiate divorce proceedings needs to be scrapped. You should be able to take a walk the moment you see fit, rather than have to wait 2 whole years to do so.

Marital Rape and it’s likes need to be critically addressed as well. We have our reasons based on various Matrimonial & Family law cases.

Anyways, why do I think the high rate in divorce is a plus? Here’s more.

Are you conversant with what orthopaedic surgeons do when trying to reconstruct a bone that has been wrongly joined/placed and left that way over a long period of time.

They first of all break it, sometimes in 2 or more places depending on what they want to achieve, and fit it together properly.

Based on patriarchy, a lot of Marriages in Nigeria are like that wrongly fitted bone. And since the world is speedily making a race for equality, those marriages are having a difficult time standing the test of time.

You cannot cheat nature. This suffering and smiling crap was definitely gonna meet its waterloo at some point to be honest. Subjugation is not compatible with human nature.

A marriage system that thrives on the subjugation of one party for the joys and pleasures of another is not worthy of being upheld.

The whole world once thrived on a Patriarchal system..but more advanced countries have tried to balance their soceity on the tenets of equality of the sexes. As expected these changes affected marriages built on patriarchy.

The smart ones quickly adjusted and updated their marriages to conform with the superior reasoning of equality, while those that couldn’t, broke under its weight.

So I weep not when I hear that marriages are crashing in my country. Its about time people woke up.

One sided Subjugative Submission is a human abnormality and so any Nigerian woman that tries to sell you the belief that she is content and happy under such an umbrella is really just lying.

Its not an issue of happiness, some have given up and given in to it, because they see no other way out. Others are basically struggling & pretending because that’s what custom/religion expects them to do. Suffer and Smile.

Also, the attacks femiminsts face is not encouraging either, so loads of women would rather not have to deal, they back out due to fear.

Feminism also comes with a lot of responsibilitie

s, and some women are high on patriarchal juice, having been brought up lazy, they would rather just depend on their Masculine ATM,s for survival.

But we cannot stop the change, even if we try, we would fail.

Humans are wired and built to fight oppression, which is why after years of slavery, it was abolished. And after years of subjuagtion loads of countries fought for their independence and now the Igbos are crying Biafra for the 2nd time; fighting for their own independence from a country that got its Independence barely 57 years ago.

It is only bound to happen, it’s a matter of time. To me, the High rate of divorce is a positive development and all that’s left is for our marital laws to allign themselves with the desires of the people.

This is the only way the institution of marriage gets better. We break, We reform/rebuild.

With all the Information out there, to expect a women to continue to tolerate marriages built on subjugative submission in 2017, is severely unrealistic.

Until humans learn to start treating fellow humans with the compassion, respect and dignity that humanity deserves, let’s keep taking ourselves to the cleaners.